Putting Into Practice #2 - Perceptual Process

     I grew up in Las Vegas, Nevada. There is just a predispositioned idea developed from being from Las Vegas. In my travels all over the world, when I say "I'm from Las Vegas" there is never a silence after this statement. It is always rebuttalled with what the other person did, saw, experienced, or dream of doing in Las Vegas. They have an idea of the place already.
     I grew up going to school with hundreds of people, all from different backgrounds and races, religious beliefs and cultures. I had black friends but we never hung out. I was friends with and attracted to black guys, but had my own predetermined ideas about them and their behaviors. I had some good and bad interactions which formed my ideas.
     I have been single for several years now. I get asked out and pursued by a broad variety of guys, but never been asked out by a black man. Until... Three weeks ago I was approached at a singles function in dominantly white St George,Utah. A tall black guy, dressed like an athlete, mid thirties, Warriors Hat on and tilted slightly, notices me. He doesn't smile, not good eye contact but not shy? I mean, I can't read his body language, his interest level, he isn't a "gangsta" type but not sure at all who this person represents himself as. I walk away and begin talking to others to distract him and send the message...nope! I head home and get ready for bed.
     Out of the blue I get a text on my phone. "Hi Amy...This is Larry. I'm not sure if you would remember me but I am the only black guy that was at the singles activity tonight"....(Hhaaa!) I'm thinking, "How did you get my number, what do you want, I know nothing about you, but pretty sure I am not interested, you weren't even friendly and...uummhhmm...you are black". He asked if he could call me for a few minutes. Sigh....... "Okay", I say, "but only for a few minutes".
     He was articulate, smart, an excellent communicator, honest, inquisitive, sensitive, wise, open and an amazing listener. We talked for 5 hours! He was actually easy to talk to! We shared similar humor, values, religious beliefs, and some goals and aspirations. He is from Chicago, but never smoked, drank, or done drugs...Ever! Larry is a hard working, dedicated father of 5 girls. I have since met them all and have seen his warm smile when he is doing what he loves best; being an awesome dad! I would never have thought that this person who I perceived as a typical black man, could be someone I am now dating! When we talk, we have a hard time hanging up the phone. When we are spending time together, I feel like I can be myself completely. Who would have thunk it!!! ;)
    

Put Into Practice Post #1 - "To Thine Own Self Be True"

     I have been a lover of words, and their greater meaning since I began to read and write. I was a lover of literature at a very early age. Words are powerful vehicles to all that we know, how we describe what we know, and how we express our experiences. I am a believer that in this life we each get to experience a series of mini lives, a linking chain creating a whole in its entirety. Words are titles to our mini lives. I love words such as SELF, AUTHENTICITY, CONNECTION, VULNERABILITY, COURAGE, LOVE, COMPASSION.... They all connect, as Brene' Brown's Ted Talk speech so powerfully supported and addressed the topic of breaking down to the deepest layers personal vulnerabilities, in order to excavate our authentic self.

     My dad was a stone/brick mason. I was raised around construction and how things look with their raw materials, the mess attached to the projects, the mortar, tools, design, plans of the desired end result of what was being constructed. It never bored me to view the steps as the "project" he worked on transformed into a home, a fireplace, BBQ, a solid wall, or a building. Each step had a sense of purpose. A creation formed from hard work. A creation to be authentically what it was planned to become.

      I think we came into our lives as authentic and whole people,(all be it, tiny babies), but pure and excited! Anticipating  an amazing journey! As we got older, we had hurtful happenings that caused us to begin to abandon our authentic self and pretend to be someone that we thought others would want us to be to avoid rejection or pain. We wanted to be loved no matter what. We stopped being authentic. This began to make us miserable.

     In Brene Brown's speech, she addressed the natural desire we all have to be loved, to have a sense of belonging, and to believe that we are all worthy of love and connection. Hurt, pain, fear, and shame that builds invisible walls to protect us. Too hide our authenticity. Brown acknowledged that from her studies, she determined that VULNERABILITY was the main critical process we all need to chose to go through in order to begin to break down these barriers that are keeping us from receiving and giving love, feeling joy, peace and love! And not just any kind of love, but love with our WHOLE HEART! I know that this type of love is what our authentic self has always deserved, craved, existed for...and using the courage we can muster we can have the ability to construct again our true selves. To have the ability to achieve our purpose of why we were created. Just as words were created to describe and teach, and bricks and tools were created to help us build and construct....so can vulnerability become the vehicle for us to heal and live our true nature!

     

Moi!

 To peg down a few things about myself (and due to time I will only be able to scratch the surface), for one I would say I have a great sense of humor. My life is no exception to having trials and hard life-chiseling experiences. Without my sense of humor I know I could not have survived them. Being able to laugh at myself, others, and circumstances as well as tell funny stories have kept me sane, made me a more likable person, and allowed others to be drawn to me so I could teach them about what I have learned. Humor makes me approachable, relatable and genuine.

   I would say that my talents and passions also greatly define me as a person. I have been blessed with a singing voice that I can sing most any genre of music. I am not able to play an instrument fluently, but wherever I go, I can take my voice box with me...and entertain myself and others for hours. I think talents were given to us to develop, use and help others. I have tried to do just that with my natural talent to sing. I am also passionate about the arts; namely theater, art, dance, literature, and music. I have participated in all aspects of these arts as a performer, teacher, previewer, writer, and lover of these forms of art. Each has elevated me intellectually, spiritually and enlightened all of my senses. Life would be very dull and lack-luster without the absolute joy that the variety of arts have given to my life. When I seek entertainment, I enjoy theatrical plays or dances, sing at Karaoke joints, stroll through art museums, devour good literature like a junkie, and listen to music incessantly!

   Finally, last (but certainly not beyond least), being a mother has defined me as a person beyond any roll I could have ever created myself. I have three young adult children who have caused me to feel great joy, pain, disappointment, betrayal, patience, wisdom, and the deepest love only a mother's heart can produce. I have learned to think of others before myself, sacrificing my own wants to develop a greater understanding of giving to my children. I don't honestly know why since they have cause me so much anguish from their choices, having each gone beyond the boundaries of what I have taught them to live by in order to remain safe and protected from horrible consequences. But I have learned to love them, give them my all, in order to better their lives. I love them unconditionally, and forgive them each time they wound me. Yep...who knew motherhood could do that all that??